I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Rocks] diary extract, 11 December 2016

AND GOD CREATED FRENCH WOMAN series (2016)

“I think this is the third fag in a hand I’ve drawn recently. I don’t know why I do it since I’ve never even smoked one. Honest to God. Dad used some highly effective reverse psychology on me in those teenage years, when a girl is easily influenced, and surprisingly it worked. (I obviously can’t say the same for wine!) Bizarrely I find it quite attractive to look at on other people sometimes and I can still remember those English days of my clothes stinking of stale smoke in the morning to remind me of my night out. No delayed reaction applied for the time I spent in France – the bars would be blanketed in a thick fog of smoke hanging at eye level. Quelle horreur!

I think it’s actually a metaphor for needing to dig deeper when the going gets tough, to get my tough to get going. I’m still feeling good physically which is so, so nice but lordy lord, this week is the full blown party week and while I love a party (I’ve said this before) this time of year does send me into a spiralling meltdown (I’ve said this before). It’s looming on the horizon. One party down, four to go.

So I don’t feel bad about the hairdresser taking four hours to work some 10 years younger magic on me (no, that does not make me 19.) I need all the help I can get right now. Anyway, where was I? The Berlin chit-chat took me to another “blonde”, French actress, Mélanie Laurent, who plays kickass Shoshanna Dreyfus in Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds, the German war film. She is utterly formidable in her plot to take down the Nazi leaders so gimme some of those same balls please and I’ll make it to Christmas in one piece.

Today’s Sunday sesh is I Like What You Are Doing Nightriders Remix by Cassian.”

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I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Rocks] diary extract, 3 December 2016

AND GOD CREATED FRENCH WOMAN series (2016)

“The art of communication is not the most straight forward thing. It’s hard enough to understand each other in our native language let alone in another. All those nuances and double entrendres make it a minefield for misinterpretation.

I don’t think I will ever be English-French bilingual. Fluent oui, bilingual non. My parents decided not to bring me up speaking both languages. Dad was worried it would be confusing and I would end up as master of none. For me, that approach is a big regret. My French was at its best in 2000 after four years of study and some immersion in France. When you dream in another language you know you are getting close but after a decade Down Under and only SBS exposure, I can say that my French is pretty nul. I miss it.

I would watch Julie Delpy in some youth TV drama after a day at the beach in the south of France in the summer holidays. (You can actually learn a language by watching TV alone, you know!) Later she rocked up in the English speaking film Before Sunrise with Ethan Hawke. Friends of mine loved it: the pair talk all night long until sunrise (c’est fantastique!). Julie wrote a lot of her own dialogue in English. But I didn’t really get it: all this chit-chat and no action. Quoi? Je ne comprends pas! Maybe I need to revisit 1995 to understand it better? There are 171,500 words in English and only 100,000 in French (looks like Shakespeare did a better job than Molière) so let’s keep on talking because apparently if you talk out loud to yourself you are meant to be some kind of genius.

Obviously, today’s sunny Saturday vin blanc is Foreign Language by Flight Facilities.”

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I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Rocks] diary extract, 29 November 2016

AND GOD CREATED FRENCH WOMAN series (2016)

“La voilà enfin! Here she is at last! The archetype of Gallic beauty, as perceived by the French: actress, Catherine Deneuve. Her classic, flawless features and acting roles as ice-cool, aloof beauties have awarded her a reputation as the ultimate woman to aspire to. A 10 out of 10 you might say, even when not dressed up to the nines. The French say she’s truly something special and just what dreams are made of.

Her image was considered perfect enough to be used to represent Marianne, the French national symbol of liberty, from 1985-89, whose face is prominent everywhere throughout France. (Brigitte Bardot and Laetitia Casta were also models for Marianne.) Catherine Deneuve speaks fluent French, Italian, English and German and when her face was used to promote Youth Garde cosmetics she famously said, “Look closely. Next year I will be 40.” I can’t imagine what it must be like to be perceived as perfect! I’ve got plenty of physical and emotional flaws so this concept makes me want to laugh out loud. Or cry. I’m never sure which. Of course we are all flawed – no-one IS perfect – but once again we are back to those pesky ways of seeing.

So pour yourself a glass of Flawless by The Ones and drown your sorrows in your very perfect imperfection.”

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I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Rocks] diary extract, 24 November 2016

AND GOD CREATED FRENCH WOMAN series (2016)

“The Melbourne weather is driving me crazy! We haven’t seen much of the warm stuff yet (unusual), just an extreme blast of heat at the start of the week and then straight then back to feeling like winter. I can not cope with a 38 to 16 drop in degrees. Be consistent please!

But what I mean to say is it doesn’t actually matter because after weeks and weeks and weeks of waiting, The Affair has most fabulously returned to Showtime with Season 3, and this can warm my cockles instead if the Aussie summer lets me down. I have loved this show from the very beginning. Only a couple of people I know watch it so I’m not sure who else will relate to the drama.

The story is told in chapters from the perspective of each character which is what makes it fascinating. Each situation is interpreted completely differently and this in turn helps to paint each character’s portrait. The plot also jumps about through time in an unpredictable, confusing way but slowly, slowly all the fragments come together to build a bigger picture. It’s very tense to watch!

My sixth sense had the strange notion that there would be something French in this season and mon dieu I was right! Noah (writer-murderer) has a new, slightly French cliché and quite annoying love interest called Juliette Le Gall who is played by French-Swiss actress, Irène Jacob. From the word go it’s obvious that she wants a rendezvous with him, talking all brainy about Lancelot, Guinevere and an erotic love which doesn’t involve touching. (Mais qu’est ce que c’est???!) But it sounds like she is talking his language and I just can’t wait for more chit-chat! See you next Tuesday, 8:30pm. Be there or be square.

Today’s wine to match these Thursday thoughts is Paradis by Alain Chamfort.”

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I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Rocks] diary extract, 23 November 2016

AND GOD CREATED FRENCH WOMAN series (2016)

“I was pleasantly surprised (and fairly relieved) yesterday to discover that I’m not the only one who feels unhinged on the inside. I’ll call it the “loose canon” condition. Thanks for letting me know that I am not alone with this sentiment and that my merde has resonated in some way beyond my thoughts.

Mum used to get the French catalogue, La Redoute, which would regularly land with a massive thump on the mat. (Who buys from catalogues these days? Do they actually still exist??? I do believe t’Internet has replaced them.) It usually arrived before our summer holiday so we could all order ourselves some shiny new threads. The model who stood to me out from its pages was the beautiful Noémie Lenoir (another first name I love and another one to get trashed in English: Noémie = Gnomey?). She is of French-Réunion-Malagasy heritage and says she grew up in a Parisian “ghetto”. Photographed happily prancing around in short shorts, halter neck tops and swimming cozzies, she looked picture-postcard perfect. Those curls!!! Later on she modelled for Marks n Sparks and Next in the UK.

I thought of her after drawing Teri Moïse because she also tried to take her own life and once again I found this really sad. It shows how you can’t tell what someone is feeling inside, no matter how beautiful they are on the outside. How do people get through periods of depression or avoid potential depression? I don’t know the answer as everyone is made differently but this drawing lark has been a big help to me through all the recent highs and lows. So I say hold on to your coping mechanisms for as long as they work, if it’s only to get you through to the next day. You might even learn something you never knew about yourself along the way.

Your hump day wine this week is Something Good Can Work The Twelves Remix by Two Door Cinema Club.”

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I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Rocks] diary extract, 22 November 2016

AND GOD CREATED FRENCH WOMAN series (2016)

“I’ve come to the conclusion that I am quite high maintenance. I don’t mean materialistically – all those status symbols have never bothered me that much. Yes, nice stuff is nice to have but it can probably all wait if you don’t really need it.

I think what can’t wait is me. I need to maintain me. When you get older you develop a mix of not really caring what anyone else thinks of you and knowing yourself very well indeed. I am pretty sure I know all my strengths and weakenesses as they seem to heighten through the tough times, and it’s doubtful that these traits will ever change. It’s more a case of maintaining them.

When I was living in Rennes I saw the music video of a song by French singer, Zazie, called Ça Fait Mal et Ça Fait Rien on my little TV. She was crashing around, smashing up stuff in a fictional fight with a boyfriend. I looked at her and scarily she really reminded me of myself. I don’t smash things up but I do stomp around and I know that there’s something fierce inside that needs looking after. With the most immensely unattractive stubborn streak from my Scottish side and an inflammatory dollop of Gallic blood from my French side, I was never going to stand a chance of staying calm most of the time. But I’m trying. Every day. Does anyone else feel like this? Like Zazie says in her song: On ferait mieux de prendre la vie comme elle vient (You are better off taking life as it comes). So don’t deny it. Maintain it.

For this reason today I’m doing a row of So Demanding slammers by Bag Raiders. Keep your cool mes amis!”

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I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Rocks] diary extract, 19 November 2016

AND GOD CREATED FRENCH WOMAN series (2016)

“… The journey was broken halfway in Vietnam (l’Indochine), in the vibrant Ho Chi Minh City (former Saigon) and magical Hoi An – a country I had always wanted to go to ever since watching the illicit 1992 film, The Lover, an adaptation of the 1984 semi-autobiographical novel, L’Amant, by Marguerite Duras and set in romantic French colonial Vietnam. Both film and book are so beautifully human and explore the story of the love affair and tempestuous undercurrents between a young French girl (Duras) with an older, wealthy Vietnamese man. There is no question of the depth and sincerity of his love, but only later does she recognise her true feelings for him. She is played by English actress, Jane March, who is absolutely effortless in her blossoming beauty.”

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I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Rocks] diary extract, 18 November 2016

AND GOD CREATED FRENCH WOMAN series (2016)

“From one 1970s beauty to another – it’s all in the hair, the hair!!! I don’t remember Mum ever actively choosing music to listen to. She liked music; I just don’t think it was an essential for her. I do remember flicking through The Olds’ record collection though and seeing the face of Françoise Hardy on a few of the sleeves but I can’t recall ever hearing her songs. I must have done. I’m guessing.

For my stepmum at the tender age of sixteen, this singer symbolised the way into France, the start of a new chapter in her young life. She says that Tous Les Garçons, La Rose and Paris S’Eveille contributed to her haste to leave north-east Scotland (I’m sorry, I don’t know any of these songs so I can’t comment) and that Françoise and partner, Jacques Dutronc, WERE Paris as far as she was concerned! Needless to say she jumped in headfirst after her dream and lived there for 30 years. That’s the power of music.

The only song I know Françoise Hardy for is To The End (La Comedie), a collaboration with Blur, with a very So Frenchy So Chic flavour to it. I’ve been thinking a lot about beginnings, middles and ends lately, stuck here in this boob reconstruction rut, wondering how you really know when you’re at the start or finish of something. Is there a formal line in the sand that you consciously cross or are there a series of subtle, slow-burning changes that play out in a never-ending story? Good grief, I’ve gone all Françoise Hardy philosopher on a Friday. Someone slap me!

I need an early drink of The Weekend by Michael Gray to take me to the end of this rubbish week. That usually cheers me up. Bon weekend tout le monde.”

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I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Rocks] diary extract, 17 November 2016

AND GOD CREATED FRENCH WOMAN series (2016)

“My body still thinks it has a newborn that really needs me (this is the only way I can describe the sensation up top) but I’m keeping on keeping on with what I was thinking about before I went out after dark this week. I had noticed that Vanessa Paradis had made sweet music with Serge Gainsbourg and my mind went straight to Jane Birkin who, for reasons that I still struggle with, the French are obsessed with. Je ne comprends pas. Explique-moi s’il te plait because it’s lost on me. And sorry the likeness is not better. She was slippery to draw.

An English girl from the big smoke, she made a life for herself in France in the 1970s and recorded the rather long-winded duet Je T’aime… Moi Non Plus with Gainsbourg in 1969. Originally written for Brigitte Bardot, who he was infatuated with, this song went on to cause a storm – as in banned – in other countries because of its sexual explicitness (not in France, of course!). Eventually it became a bit of a joke, too. Doesn’t everyone seem to be so uptight next to this nation when it comes to le grand amour?

In 1981 fashion label, Hermès, famously designed the Birkin Bag after the big boss witnessed her straw bag empty its contents all over an aircraft cabin. She complained at the time that she had no decent weekend bag. Et voilà! Iconic status symbol in the bag, with own name attached! Bien joué, Jane.

So the bottle of wine stashed in the Birkin bag is the 1970s loving, jingle-jangling Action by Cassius. Pourquoi pas? C’est bientôt le weekend, non?”

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I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Rocks] diary extract, 4 November 2016

AND GOD CREATED FRENCH WOMAN series (2016)

“I had a lie-in. If I blocked out the sound of the screaming, crying kids it was quite relaxing. Ish. Keep it real, girl. Lie-ins are obsolete. Towards the end of drawing Jeanne Marine I really started to see Emmanuelle Béart’s face within hers. It was weird. So here she is. Oui, encore une fois. When I first saw her in Manon des Sources in 1986 I thought she was unbelievably beautiful, enough to want to name my daughter after her, but I soon realised that both names would probably be corrupted to Manny and that was that – canned!

For me, Emmanuelle fits the concept described in Ways of Seeing the best: that historically women don’t see themselves; they watch themselves being watched by men. Her heart-shaped face, big blue eyes, full lips and fine bone structure paired with feminine curves on a tiny frame led one man to say about her, “She has the face of a virgin and the body of a whore.” She has spent her time fighting against this, trying to show her different faces as she herself perceives them to be. Can beauty hold you back?

Aged 38 she was famously photographed nude in the Mauritian sea for Elle magazine. The 550,000 copies sold out in 3 days. She said about the photos, “I don’t like them, I love them. Magazines keep showing us very skinny models of 15 or 16. I am 38, a mother and a woman and I thought “Why not?” For once, let’s not have someone very skinny, very young. Let’s make things move.” I think I love you, Emmanuelle, so today I’m drinking Maliblue by Darius in a blue-skied Friday toast to you and older women. Santé!”

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