ZAZIE (2016)

I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Rocks] diary extract, 22 November 2016


“I’ve come to the conclusion that I am quite high maintenance. I don’t mean materialistically – all those status symbols have never bothered me that much. Yes, nice stuff is nice to have but it can probably all wait if you don’t really need it.

I think what can’t wait is me. I need to maintain me. When you get older you develop a mix of not really caring what anyone else thinks of you and knowing yourself very well indeed. I am pretty sure I know all my strengths and weakenesses as they seem to heighten through the tough times, and it’s doubtful that these traits will ever change. It’s more a case of maintaining them.

When I was living in Rennes I saw the music video of a song by French singer, Zazie, called Ça Fait Mal et Ça Fait Rien on my little TV. She was crashing around, smashing up stuff in a fictional fight with a boyfriend. I looked at her and scarily she really reminded me of myself. I don’t smash things up but I do stomp around and I know that there’s something fierce inside that needs looking after. With the most immensely unattractive stubborn streak from my Scottish side and an inflammatory dollop of Gallic blood from my French side, I was never going to stand a chance of staying calm most of the time. But I’m trying. Every day. Does anyone else feel like this? Like Zazie says in her song: On ferait mieux de prendre la vie comme elle vient (You are better off taking life as it comes). So don’t deny it. Maintain it.

For this reason today I’m doing a row of So Demanding slammers by Bag Raiders. Keep your cool mes amis!”