[STAY GOLD series]

Acrylic on canvas (unframed)

50.5 x 50.5cm

February 2018

Heathcliff, it’s me, Coralie. Come home, I’m so cold. Let me in through your window. ~ Kate Bush

So, millenials, before Lorde there was Kate Bush. Things I have in common with this babooshka: born in Kent, went to school in Ashford, lived in Eltham (London, Straya… whatevs), read Wuthering Heights, and became the first female artist to achieve a UK number one with a self-written song, aged just 19. Last one just Kate actually. Also technically 1978.

The woman with burning sunset eyes is called Coralie. At first I thought Coral because it sounds a bit Eighties, but I think she’s on a French beach in the Med so… you know. Then I googled it: “Coralie” is a popular 19th century jewel baby name from the name of the pink semi-precious sea growth used to make jewellery and ornaments. Cha-ching! We’re on the same page.

INSTANT ORANGE CRUSH is inspired by sun worship, the beach sunsets of oversized 1980s wallpaper posters and the overblown pop love songs by empowered diva heroines of the same decade. It explores the nostalgia we feel for past loves through rose tinted sunglasses and questions the idea that nothing gold can stay.

This painting has been powered by Whitney, Tina, Annie, Madonna and Kate.

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Tonight, Matthew, I’m going to be… [singer, song, vintage???].

You know. “I have tennis shoes with little rhinestones that I slip on if I exercise.” Yes, here she comes again!

“My boobs are fake. My hair is fake but what is real is my voice and my heART.” ~ Dolly Garlinge.

It’s Saturday. I’m 39.99 and I’m going out out!

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I WILL PREVIVE [A Side Serve Of Stones] diary extract, 26 August 2017

N-N-NINETIES OUTRO series (2017)

“Gonna get up, gonna get up, gonna get up… Walk right in, walk, walk, walk right in… Cause you ride on time, ride on time, cause you ride on time. ~ Black Box.

Me got a final call from the tummy hospital this morning. I know, again! I was genuinely surprised. It was Dr. G. calling. He said, “Sista! Looks like the Melbourne coastguard has located a black box about 100km south of your house. It was lying at the bottom of a hot spring on the Mornington Peninsula. Peculiar, innit?! Well, they’ve opened it up and guess what? It’s got your mojo in it. You’d better go and get it, sista!” What news! And RIGHT ON TIME, too, because by strange coincidence I happen to be spending the weekend at aforementioned Peninsula Hot Springs with some of my Pink Hope mermie-sistas. What are the chances??? I didn’t plan the date of this jolly jaunt but guess what? The numbers say it’s the first anniversary of my preventative mastectomies. So what are the chances? I’d say slim but possible because there is nearly always a silver lining. Today I finally get to feel all those things I’ve been denied for so long: joy, relief, celebration and a new normal.

This is the last page in my story. It’s been hard but easy to tell, lonely but connected, dramatic but repetitive and boring, crazy but sane. I am not going to preach to anyone but I encourage you to remember to look after your physical health and, more importantly, your mental health. They are both so precious and you don’t know just how precious until the day they’re not quite right. But you can definitely come out stronger and more determined than you ever thought you could be when you were stuck deep, deep down in those dark moments without your mojo.

So I’m ending the story’s soundtrack with this 1989 song which, now I remember, is sampled from disco’s very own “Love Sensation”. Makes sense. It seems like a natural year to finish in… on the brink of those teenage years, still childlike but about to come of age. Self-love, self-observation, self-preservation all complete one year on! Job done, y’all. Jump around!”

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I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Baps] diary extract, 12 April 2017

HOMEGIRL HOUSE PARTY series (2017)

“Here I am, on the other side. I know this because THE HIPS DON’T LIE. My whole torso looks like it’s been in a car accident! It’s yellow, purple and black, front and back. At first I thought the purple was dye from surgery… well I thought wrong, didn’t I?! The most brilliant part is that I’ve swapped upturned ceramic bowls (rocks) for soft bread rolls (baps). This is my latest analogy about going from expanders to implants. I can not express how amazing this change looks and feels! It’s hard to tell with the swelling and the drains but the new boobs seem like old, improved friends, minus any sensation of course, except for the area on the left from my neck down to and including the top of my left nipple. The whole area to the side of my boobs and up around my back is also numb and somehow this feels worse to tolerate because I hadn’t realised how extensively the nerves would be removed. It’s been like this since the mastectomies last year. But it’s a small trade.

My head is quite foggy. I keep remembering and forgetting things and I’ve definitely flatlined emotionally from all the drugs. Friday night was such a HIGH, I could only come down from there. But I’ll do my best to stay up high by saying HIP HOP HOORAY!!! I kicked it and now I’m going to have a house party with my homegirls! For some reason I can not comprehend I have a burning desire to learn Jamaican Patois but I’ll just stick with a little Jafaican for now… So who’s got that party vibe? First to arrive – Shakira: She hips don’t lie.”

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I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Rocks] diary extract, 22 November 2016

AND GOD CREATED FRENCH WOMAN series (2016)

“I’ve come to the conclusion that I am quite high maintenance. I don’t mean materialistically – all those status symbols have never bothered me that much. Yes, nice stuff is nice to have but it can probably all wait if you don’t really need it.

I think what can’t wait is me. I need to maintain me. When you get older you develop a mix of not really caring what anyone else thinks of you and knowing yourself very well indeed. I am pretty sure I know all my strengths and weakenesses as they seem to heighten through the tough times, and it’s doubtful that these traits will ever change. It’s more a case of maintaining them.

When I was living in Rennes I saw the music video of a song by French singer, Zazie, called Ça Fait Mal et Ça Fait Rien on my little TV. She was crashing around, smashing up stuff in a fictional fight with a boyfriend. I looked at her and scarily she really reminded me of myself. I don’t smash things up but I do stomp around and I know that there’s something fierce inside that needs looking after. With the most immensely unattractive stubborn streak from my Scottish side and an inflammatory dollop of Gallic blood from my French side, I was never going to stand a chance of staying calm most of the time. But I’m trying. Every day. Does anyone else feel like this? Like Zazie says in her song: On ferait mieux de prendre la vie comme elle vient (You are better off taking life as it comes). So don’t deny it. Maintain it.

For this reason today I’m doing a row of So Demanding slammers by Bag Raiders. Keep your cool mes amis!”

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I WILL PREVIVE [The Book Of Rocks] diary extract, 18 November 2016

AND GOD CREATED FRENCH WOMAN series (2016)

“From one 1970s beauty to another – it’s all in the hair, the hair!!! I don’t remember Mum ever actively choosing music to listen to. She liked music; I just don’t think it was an essential for her. I do remember flicking through The Olds’ record collection though and seeing the face of Françoise Hardy on a few of the sleeves but I can’t recall ever hearing her songs. I must have done. I’m guessing.

For my stepmum at the tender age of sixteen, this singer symbolised the way into France, the start of a new chapter in her young life. She says that Tous Les Garçons, La Rose and Paris S’Eveille contributed to her haste to leave north-east Scotland (I’m sorry, I don’t know any of these songs so I can’t comment) and that Françoise and partner, Jacques Dutronc, WERE Paris as far as she was concerned! Needless to say she jumped in headfirst after her dream and lived there for 30 years. That’s the power of music.

The only song I know Françoise Hardy for is To The End (La Comedie), a collaboration with Blur, with a very So Frenchy So Chic flavour to it. I’ve been thinking a lot about beginnings, middles and ends lately, stuck here in this boob reconstruction rut, wondering how you really know when you’re at the start or finish of something. Is there a formal line in the sand that you consciously cross or are there a series of subtle, slow-burning changes that play out in a never-ending story? Good grief, I’ve gone all Françoise Hardy philosopher on a Friday. Someone slap me!

I need an early drink of The Weekend by Michael Gray to take me to the end of this rubbish week. That usually cheers me up. Bon weekend tout le monde.”

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TOP OF THE POPS series (2016)

This woman has Braveheart blood, can walk on broken glass, wears a suit and tie and has short hair. She also hails from Aberdeen, the silver city by the sea, where my dad utilised his baby boomer university grant playing cards, plagiarising and wooing women (as far as I can tell!). As I can only assume she is made of granite I’m going to pray to the Scottish Patron Saint Annie of Lennox (Eurythmics) for strength.

13 July 2016

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TOP OF THE POPS series (2016)

Current state of being: so emotional. I drew half of this sober, half of it after wine with a streaky face. Drawing activity up, wine consumption up, sense of humour down. The formidable Whitney Houston to play out your TGIF.

8 July 2016

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TOP OF THE POPS series (2016)

What can I do to make light of this dull, dull day? Set to work idle hands and inject some 1980s fluoro into this grey glue of winter I’m wading through. It’s making me so sad. A woman whose voice I thought was a man’s for quite some time – it’s Alison Moyet.

7 July 2016

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TOP OF THE POPS series (2016)

I’m gonna be free and I’m gonna be fine. I heard that after today’s election Australia is all set to leave the AU and become “Stralia”, in time possibly just “Straya”, and, who knows, maybe even one day “The Republic of Straya”? A happy future lies ahead for my rugrats! Here’s Florence Welch who played a small part in the inspiration behind naming rugrat number one.

2 July 2016

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